My brain does this thing where, if something is wrong and I have no way of coping, I shut down and go into defense mode. In defense mode I use anger and sarcasm to block out all of the bad. So I end up bitching at people I didn’t mean to bitch at. I hate it. But if I don’t go into defense mode, everything hurts worse. Then I get anxiety attacks and start hyperventilating and it’s all just a big mess. [sigh] What the hell is wrong with me?